looking for a place

there was a time when I believed that there would always be a place

there'd always be space

we'd always create time

when things seemed to just not be

that I could be the one Making Things Happen

and then

then I woke up

and the cold turned to bitter cold

and the hot turned to steaming hot

like the dampers were removed, the bumpers let down, and the safety taken off

With all the running and the circles and the yelling I cant seem to get a logical consistent thought in edgewise

Mind ever racing, anxiety ever present

Dont want to come or go or cum or blow

Tears welled up in my throat unable to fall

Rushing moving driving turning meeting working

Food is a luxury of people with time

Sleep is for the weak

Unreturned phone calls, unanswered text messages and unread emails is all I have to show for this moment

Angry cause I've been waiting 

Hoping wishing praying coaxing life into this moment

And alone, which seems to be my place

I find over emotional, volatile, combustible

A new knife and fresh bruschetta a daft attempt at seasoning my feelings into something I can stand to taste

Create the space

Time will present itself

The place is here

Its always here, its always been here

Anywhere I can manage to turn myself inside out

and when its up to me that. is. everywhere.